Despite its importance, most women do poorly when it comes to writing a good profile. Many put in little or no effort or make common, man-repelling mistakes that send good men running for the hills.
The worst part isn’t that these mistakes are easy to fix; it’s that every second they’re up there, they could be unknowingly costing you Mr. Right. Quality men pass over bad profiles freakishly often, and if he misses you, you’re unlikely to get his attention again.
Here are the 5 dating profile faux pau’s that push quality men away.
1. The basics – Grammar, Spelling, and Caps.
Good grammar and writing will never, ever go out of style.
Men will judge you on your writing. Perhaps not as harshly as women, but that’s only because some of them just want sex. Witing ur profile dat ur lookin for a guy lik dis – OR WRITING HOW YOU WANT AN EASY GOING GUY LIKE THIS – are either going to make men think you’re 14 – or insane. In either case, you’ve got no hope.
Use proper spelling, don’t yell and keep control of apostrophes, smilies, and grammar if you want to be received well.
2. Being generic
The most common mistake, by far, made in online profiles (from both genders) is simply being generic. Making yourself sounds the same as everybody else.
Log onto any online dating site, and you’ll find hundreds of profiles with cliché, useless statements, such as…
- “I love to have a laugh with my friends.”
- “I’m an easy-going, down to earth sort of girl.”
- “I want/love to travel.”
- “I like to experience new things.”
- “Looking for a guy who likes to have fun, laugh, and enjoys new experiences.”
Reading these in women’s profiles makes me want to hit my head against the wall. Not because they’re boring (they are), but because I know these women probably have a lot to offer a man that they have failed to talk about, and as such will be unlikely to filter in any men right for them (they’ll just get the ones who want sex).
Each and every one of these statements does not apply to you. They apply to everybody. They’re utterly redundant. Every guy has already read them 12 times today.
The more cliché, generic statements you make, the less a guy finds out about you or can mention when contacting you. This means you immediately hand power over to your photos/how hot you are to determine whether Mr. Right messages.
Here’s a rule to live and die by online:
If your statement applies to any more than 10% of women, either get rid of it or make it more specific.
Here are some examples:
“I love to have a laugh with my friends.” Becomes:
“I spend far too much time with the girls out at Cloudland, but it’s warranted by my love of strawberry cocktails.”
“I’m an easy-going, down to earth sort of girl.” Becomes:
“I’m a girl who enjoys backyard cricket with the family as much as an intelligent conversation about entrepreneurship.”
“I want/love to travel.” Becomes:
“I can’t wait to visit Italy again, which has always been a favorite of mine, but the temptation of a trip to Kenya and an African safari is growing ever stronger.”
“I like to experience new things.” Becomes:
“I have been known to get myself into trouble by being too adventurous, and recently, I tried snowboarding for the first time, which resulted in a gallant but ultimately losing battle with a tree.”
“Looking for a guy who likes to have fun, laugh, and try new things.” Becomes:
“Love to meet a guy who wouldn’t be scared to come with me as a Latin dancing rookie and can make fun of himself when I whoop his butt at TImezone.
Not only does avoiding generic statements online take power away from your photos and give men plenty of topics with which to initiate contact, it makes you stand out to a ridiculous extent, because so few women online are good at being specific about what makes them… them!
3. Being Negative
If you want to repel men from your profile, here’s a series of statements you can use:
- “Cannot stand the current political situation with what is happening in America”
- “Nothing annoys me more than religion, so if you have a faith, I’m not likely to be the one for you.”
- “I don’t at all like the whole conversation by text method; it gets boring quickly. What’s wrong with modern dating?!?”
Negativity doesn’t fly online, in any form. It doesn’t ‘bring in those with similar dislikes’ the way you might hope. It pushes away the good guys, who sense a negative attitude they don’t want to be involved with. They might hate Donald Trump too, but they also won’t want a bar of you.
4. Writing too much
Men have a ‘too long; didn’t read’ mechanism that kicks in somewhere around 200-400 words. As a general rule, aim to keep things to less than 300 words or 6-8 short sentences on Tinder.
5. Expressing your frustrations with men or online dating 
Here’s another series of lines you can use if you want men to run the other way:
- “Tired of guys on here, only after one thing – Only contact me if you’re looking for something serious.”
- “If you don’t have the courage to send me a message – don’t bother sending a wink. Looking for a guy with the balls to contact properly.”
- “What happened to good, old-fashioned dating? Only message if you’re planning not to flake, later.”
I understand the frustrations that drive this. Online dating can be a painful and disenchanting experience. If you’re not mentally prepared for the weirdos, guys only after sex and strings of duds who waste your time, it can be very tempting make clarifications, such as these, as to what you want.
“Men, when they have no other information, trust the perceptions of other men.”
I implore you – resist the temptation. Any message conveying that you’ve been burned in the past will push men away in droves. If a guy gets the hint that other men have not wanted you, it’s an instinctual and automatic turnoff. Think about it. If a random woman told you to stay away from a random man, you’d probably take her advice. There’s an automatic gender trust and it’s not exclusive to women. Men, when they have no other information, trust the perceptions of other men. If they think other men have stayed away from you, their instinct will be to stay away too.
Online dating is about selling yourself and standing out as an individual amidst a cast of thousands. Your profile is your best tool for doing that. Follow these 5 strategies, make any changes necessary, and you’ll finally have an inbox full with the right men messaging for all the right reasons.
