Would you get into a relationship with someone who didn’t impress you?

If your answer is “No”, then good for you. You’re out to find a partner who stands out.

There’s a small but important caveat that comes along with this, though.

Your future partner will be looking for the same.

“The reality is, if you want a quality guy, you’re going to have to impress him.”

He’ll be looking for someone who impresses him, too.

And when you’re able to impress him, that’s exactly what he finds.

I’ve been getting so many questions on this topic, I knew I had to write a piece giving some answers.

Impressing a guy is much more than looks or something you say. It’s about him being awed by you to the point where he can’t bear the thought of missing out. Where he wants more access to you and your life than anyone else, and is willing to give up the freedom of singledom to get it.

The reality is, if you want a quality guy, you’re going to have to impress him. So here, I’ve collated, from my experience talking to guys (and as one), the top 12 things that women can do that truly and unmistakably impress us.

1. Passion and Ambition

Passion for your life and ambition for the future will never fail to impress the men you meet and date.

When you have a great life with things you’re excited for, you’ll make a massive impression on a man. It doesn’t matter what it is. If you’re excited and passionate about it, guys will be impressed and want to be a part of it.

Ambition on top of passion is the icing on the cake. When you’re not only passionate about what you have now, but have an exciting plan for the future and are on a mission to get there, you’ll blow the men you meet away. Men are used to women who lack direction, so it’s truly refreshing to meet one who knows exactly what she wants and is on her way to achieving it.

2. Intelligence

This is a no-brainer. Every man is impressed by an intelligent woman who can debate issues, find solutions in her life, and hold intelligent and thoughtful conversation. That myth that guys want a girl to be stupid or ditzy, otherwise you’ll intimidate them, needs to die. Guys (at least, secure ones) aren’t intimidated by intelligent girls. We’re simply impressed.

3. Wit (Sassiness)

If you want to impress a guy, show him you’ve got wit. If you want to leave him awestruck, repeatedly and consistently outwit him.

Wit doesn’t just mean intelligence. Wit is the application of your intelligence in fast-paced, social, playful/bantering environments. It is your ability to work your intelligence on your feet faster than he can to win fun little social debates. The more of these you win, the more you’ll impress him.

Urban dictionary defines sassy as, “possessing the attitude of someone endowed with an ungodly amount of cool”, but another (I feel more accurate) reader described it as, “Someone who is full of themselves, but in a good way. They’re cheeky, lively, smart, saucy, slightly impudent, mouthy, cocky, energetic, loud, and extremely talkative.”

Wittiness. Sass. No matter what you want to call it, it’ll always be impressive to any man you come across.

4. Show warmth to everyone you meet (yes, including guys)

From store clerks to his friends, waiters to an old lady in the supermarket, when you’re warm, positive, and chatty to everyone you meet, the impression you make on a guy cannot be underestimated.

Such an attitude communicates undeniable self-confidence. It demonstrates social skills and the ability to shine anywhere, anytime. Surprise situations, unexpected events? You handle it, leaving only smiles in your wake. People naturally emanate to you everywhere you go. Your attention is valuable and not something reserved purely for him. It will impress a guy to no end to see how much people who don’t even know you want to be around you.

A little bonus to this is that being friendly with everyone is, naturally, going to include attractive men. Your warmth to them (which is just normal social etiquette) serves as a subtle reminder to him of the catch you are. After all, nothing fires a man up like a little competition.

5. Be spontaneous

When we’re anxious, it’s because we’re worried about a future situation we think we can’t or may not be able to handle. Spontaneity demonstrates is the opposite. That you’ll handle life as it comes. “I’ll cross that bridge successfully when I come to it. No need to worry about it now.”

When you are spontaneous, it shows you don’t let fear rule you. You’re adventurous, ready to get out there and tackle life. No man wants a dull, boring relationship, so when a guy sees spontaneity in a girl, he associates her with excitement, rather than the boredom commonly linked to monogamy. He imagines him and her having spontaneous fun together, because he knows she’ll be up for embracing a variety of adventures. Spontaneity impresses men and makes you look like relationship material.

6. Offer to pay for yourself

When looking for a girlfriend, a guy doesn’t want a follower or a student. He wants an equal. A strong, interdependent woman with whom he can forge a partnership and life.

When you offer to pay for yourself, it communicates you see yourself as his equal. He may still want to be chivalrous and pay… Which is fine. What’s important is you impressed him with the offer.

7. Be able to laugh at yourself

A girl who can make fun of herself and isn’t too ‘prim and proper’ is going to impress any guy. Can you make fun of yourself for stupid things you’ve done? Can you post a selfie or even just a snapchat, where you look embarrassing? Next time you’re about to head out with the girls, send the guy you like a text of you making a horrible face and ask if you look beautiful. It shows you have the confidence for him to see a goofy photo of you AND that you can have a laugh at yourself. Few of us can send a photo like that to someone we’re interest in, and that’s why those who do so set themselves apart.

8. Bring him down from the clouds

A guy will sleep with a girl that puts him on a pedestal, but he’ll be truly impressed by one who keeps him grounded.

“…every guy has moments when he gets a little ahead of himself…”

I’m not saying you shoot him down when he’s setting goals or feeling good. Absolutely not. But every guy has moments when he gets a little ahead of himself and starts declaring to you how he is god’s gift to women or how incredibly blessed/lucky you are to be dating him. A quality woman calls him out on this. She raises her eyebrows and gives him the, “Suuuuure mister” look, then follows up with a joke or dig that subtly brings him back down from the clouds. He might not like that you don’t put him on a pedestal like all the other girls, but he’ll be very impressed by it.

9. Don’t be won over easily

Being “Naturally Challenging” is one of the most important aspects of successful dating and attraction. We, as humans, know all things worth having take work, and what lands in our laps too easily inevitably comes with a catch. The whole reason ‘playing hard to get’ was coined as dating advice was because people were looking to raise their own challenge (by faking it) to appear more attractive.

While playing hard to get won’t work, the thought process behind it is correct in that being a challenge does make you more attractive. Playing hard to get and being hard to get, however, are two very different things.

Being hard to get is when your lifestyle, your passions, and your thought processes take healthy priority over and around men. As a result you’ll naturally become harder for a guy to win over. For example, you’ll often put your friends over guys, take longer to text men back (you’re busy or you turn your phone off), and have slower building relationships, all of which make you naturally more challenging.

10. Plan a cool date

It’s rare that anyone these days comes up with a date idea that’s really innovative. So, when it’s your turn to plan a date, plan something that stands out.

I remember one woman who advised me our date would be at a lighthouse. We literally had to climb up part of the lighthouse to get to the top, but then, got to spend the whole night on the lighthouse deck, looking out and having a drink. I was very impressed.

Another girl suggested we explore an abandoned building together. It was a little scary, but oh so memorable and really great fun. The idea impressed me so much, it become a favorite date suggestion of my own.

“It’s rare that anyone these days comes up with a date idea that’s really innovative.”

Both these women obviously put some thought in and impressed me in a big way. By doing so, they really stood out.

Out-of-the-ordinary dates are not only very cheap, but will impress a guy far more than you being like every other girl and suggesting a dinner/movie combo.

11. Respect Yourself

Men commit to women they respect. And if you want a guy (or anyone else) to respect you, you have to respect yourself.

A woman who respects herself expects it from others, and quietly removes those who aren’t forthcoming with it from her life. Thus, she creates herself a reality of people in her life respect her.

“A woman who respects herself expects it from others, and quietly removes those who aren’t forthcoming with it from her life.”

Having standards that you enforce with your actions, expecting his exclusivity before you give up yours, and sleeping with him on your terms when you feel like it are just a few of the ways you’ll show a guy you respect yourself and will, therefore, obtain his.

If you want to know more about earning a guy’s respect, checkout my video here on, “How to get a guy’s respect.”

12. Confidence and Self-Worth

If there’s just about one thing you can do to impress a guy that trumps everything else, this is it.

Confidence is the underlying belief of, “I’ll handle it.” That there is nothing to fear because no matter what situation you come up against or who disapproves of you, you’ll handle it.

Self-Worth is your inner (subconscious) valuation of yourself. It will determine the treatment you will and won’t tolerate from people, the standards you carry, and how quickly you bounce back from external failures and let-down’s.

Together, they make up the core of everything we’ve talked about so far. Being warm to all people, spontaneity, being able to laugh at yourself, having a life and ambition all come down to one or both of these traits.

“Building self-worth and confidence isn’t easy (I’ve been there), but it’s a process that is well worth it.”

Building self-worth and confidence isn’t easy (I’ve been there), but is a process that is well worth it. Confidence is built by going outside of your comfort zone and doing something you’ve been scared to do. Self-worth is built by your eventual success in these endeavors and the knowledge that you can control your own reality.

You wouldn’t date a guy who doesn’t impress you, and it’s only reasonable to say it goes both ways. The good news is that impressing guys isn’t hard; it’s done by bringing out the most authentic and naturally confident you. If you feel like you’re not currently impressing guys, following just a few of these 12 tips will put you on the right path. But the real secret isn’t just in doing them. It’s in learning to live them. When you incorporate parts of all these into who you are, without even trying, you’ll be the woman whose incredible life and personality impress every man she comes across.