What you need to look for, is emotional momentum. When he likes you, your new guy will be consistently and progressively making efforts at emotional connection with you. Why? Because when you’re constantly on his mind, he wants to keep up contact to make sure he’s constantly on yours.
Emotional Momentum
When a man sees you as a high-value woman, he believes other men will also see you that way. He’s conscious of the fact that other men will want to come in and take your emotions and attention for themselves. So, he needs to keep up emotional momentum with you, in the form of ongoing and consistent contact.
Before we look at how to judge emotional momentum though, it’s important to take a look at what it’s not.
Emotional Momentum Isn’t Sporadic
When you like a guy and you’re trying to figure out whether or not he likes you, it’s easy to fall into the trap of putting too much meaning into his actions or your time spent together. For example, maybe you had an amazing date that lasted over 24 hours. He took you to dinner, you watched a movie and only said goodbye after a night of wild sex, the following afternoon. Despite the fact that he hasn’t contacted you for a week, you choose to believe he might just be busy, rather than acknowledging that you’re probably not on his mind that much.
“Men simply can’t help but consistently contact you when they like you.”
Or, perhaps you’ve been having amazing sex every weekend, yet the only time he texts is at 10:00 pm on a Saturday night. Maybe, each time, he writes something about missing you and that he can’t wait to see you. He must really like you, right? In the spirit of never saying never, he might. However, just like you’re probably wanting to text him for a coffee in the morning, or to hang out with your friends at the pub, if he really liked you, that’s most likely what he’d be doing.
The fact of the matter is, guys simply can’t help but consistently contact you, when they like you. Therefore, rather than place significance on random, sexy text messages or hot nights in bed, it’s time to put your focus on how much effort he puts into creating emotional momentum.
To do so, ask yourself these questions:
Emotional Momentum Is Consistent
When you like a guy and he’s on your mind a lot, you want to pick up the phone and text him. Depending on how confident you feel about him responding in the beginning, you may or may not do so, in favour of him texting you first. Everyone experiences those nervous moments of ‘putting yourself out there’.
However, when you’ve started talking to a guy and had a few fantastic dates if he really likes you, chances are he will be the one to contact you, daily even. He might text to say good morning, to ask how your day at work was or to set up plans for the weekend. He’ll also actually call you, just for a chat. Even if you have conflicting schedules and haven’t been able to catch up, the point is he’ll constantly keep things firing with you.
There are no week-long silences within emotional momentum, except perhaps in the case of unexpected, serious life issues. You won’t find yourself grasping for reasons or excuses as to why he didn’t respond to your last text and you certainly won’t be wondering when, or if, you’ll see him again. You’ll know, through his effort at consistent contact, that he wants to make it happen.
Emotional Momentum Is Measured By Time
So, the thing about consistency is, it’s best measured over time. A guy might, for example, contact you non-stop for a week, which tells you that he likes you right now. The proof is really in the pudding though, when he’s been keeping up emotional momentum for a month or more.
Even if you’ve only seen each other four or five times in a month, a guy who likes you will keep texting and calling, in order to progress by getting to know you. He won’t just leave things up in the air until it’s possible to find the time to see each other. Again, you won’t have to second-guess his actions or random messages, because he’ll be consistently in touch with you, in a meaningful way.
Emotional Momentum Initiates Cold
Check in with yourself, in terms of how often you initiate contact with your date. Does he only reply after you send a text? Are you generally the one calling him to catch up? When you’re having a conversation, are you always the one asking questions and trying to engage him, in order to get to know each other?
If a man is initiating phone calls, texts or plans – without any signals or prompting from you – more than 50% of the time, it’s a strong sign he’s trying to keep up emotional momentum. Why? Because he can’t stop thinking about you! If you find yourself initiating contact the majority of the time, take a step back, give him a bit of space and see what happens next.
Emotional Momentum Puts In Effort
Maybe the guy you like texts or calls you on a semi-regular basis, but how deep are his efforts to get to know you? Anyone can text ‘Hi’ with an emoji or send links to a funny video in the spirit of keeping communication open, however, this doesn’t necessarily indicate he’s keeping up with emotional momentum.
What does, is how much effort he puts into delving into your life, or inviting you into his. When he likes you, he feels serious curiosity about you and wants to hear what you have to say about a wide range of topics. He’ll ask you questions to find out who you really are and, most importantly, he’ll remember what you tell him.
“When a man likes you, he feels serious curiosity about you and wants to hear what you have to say about a wide range of topics.”
He’ll also start to open up about his passions, goals and overall life view. Sharing stories about his past is a way to give you understanding about what he’s all about and he’ll want to know what you think, in turn. Making an effort to tell you what he likes about you is also a great sign that you’re always on his mind because he’s been thinking about that infectious laugh of yours for weeks.
Lastly, a sure sign of keeping up emotional momentum is that he includes you in future plans. If he’s asking if you want to go to a concert next month or inviting you to his friend’s birthday later in the year, he definitely likes you enough to be viewing life with you in it.
When he puts this amount of effort in, one thing you can be sure of is that he’s not just interested in sex, or faking it. Men simply won’t put the effort in, if they don’t mean it. The more consistent he’s been, the longer it’s been going on, the more he initiates and the deeper he goes with it, the more you’ll know you’re consistently on his mind.
And it’s this that tells you, instantly, that he likes you.
