How To Make A Guy Jealous
If you could make a dollar for every time a girl typed the search term, ‘how to make a guy jealous’, you’d be living footloose and fancy-free on a private island, with a private jet. Why? Because, the sad truth is, that in the short term doing so can actually make a guy want you more, which is something that’s very hard to resist.
However, it’s literally one of the dumbest questions ever typed into a search bar.
That sounds harsh, but it’s not to make you feel bad about doing it. It’s natural and instinctual to want a guy to want you and most people ask this question at some point while dating and in relationships. The thing is, a variation of negative emotions are necessary for a man to maintain attraction. Like missing you or knowing that other men try to hit on you. This is where it gets confusing though, in that you feel like you have to set out to cause men to feel these emotions directly.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Games Don’t Get You Anywhere
While searching for, ‘how to make a guy jealous’, no doubt you’ve come across hundreds of articles with tips and tricks on what to do. Some of the most popular ones include:
Be seen with another guy on purpose.
Deliberately flirt with other men while you’re out with your guy.
Post pictures on social media while out with other guys, especially while wearing your skimpiest outfit.
Ignore his texts and phone calls.
Pretend to be too busy to see him.
Speak very highly about your ex and comment on his posts, often.
Set up scenarios with friends to mention how many men are into you or have them pretend to be an admirer texting you.
Will any or all of the above actions make a guy jealous? Yep, most likely, at least in the short term. Does engaging in games like these align with the behaviour of a high-value woman? Definitely not. In all seriousness, do you really want to live a life of pretence, in order to get a guy to either like you or stay with you?
Why Playing Games Ensures You Do Your Own Head In
While you’re trying to mess with your guy’s head and emotions, you are, in fact, making much more of a mess with your own. Once you start the ball rolling with jealousy games, you’ll forever feel like you have to keep them up, which is nothing but a toxic, unhealthy situation waiting to happen.
All that time and energy put into your next ‘trick’ leads to stress and anxiety, because you’ll always be wondering if you succeeded enough, for that week or the month. You’ll start pushing things a bit further if you don’t see immediate results. While trying to make him insecure, your own insecurity levels will rise because of the attention you’re giving to intentionally creating negative emotions – in someone you supposedly like, or even love.
Your actions might also result in the exact opposite outcome. He could see through the games and retaliate or become obsessive and possessive. If a guy is only just realising how much he likes you, playing with him like this could enlighten him to the fact that you’re insecure, superficial or emotionally immature and he’ll instinctually back off, rather than amp up his efforts.
Most importantly, you’ll quickly start resenting the situation, as your relationship becomes more about games than love. This certainly doesn’t do your own self-esteem any favours, especially as you’ve initiated the toxicity that may directly sabotage, rather than enhance, the relationship.
Realise That Men Feel Jealousy Indirectly
Picture all the ways you might feel jealous, in a nice way. It sounds counter-intuitive, but jealousy really can be a good thing. For example, let’s say you’re dating a really hot guy and every time you walk down the street with him, other women can’t help but cop an extra long look. It gives you a small pang of jealousy, but you like the fact you’re dating a guy who’s so hot.
He’s not deliberately making you feel jealous, it’s happening indirectly and, as a result, you feel even more attracted to him. This is exactly how it is for men. He sees a guy striking up a conversation with you at the bar and that bit of healthy competition reminds him of what a catch you are. You spend a weekend away with the girls and your guy misses you, amplifying his attraction for you.
Men should only ever feel jealousy, or any other negative emotion indirectly, not because you’re trying to make them feel bad. How do you ensure he feels these emotions indirectly? By being a high value, awesome woman who’s more interested in making her own life incredible, than playing petty jealousy games.
How To Make A Guy Indirectly Jealous
Now, back to the question that, hopefully after reading this, you’ll never ask again. The way to make a guy jealous is to not try and make him jealous. Put the concept out of your head and get ready to fill your mind with thoughts that lead to you behaving like the type of woman who naturally makes men jealous – in a good way.
“The way to make a guy jealous is to not try and make him jealous.”
First up, instead of challenging yourself to make your guy jealous, challenge yourself to being a better you. Invest that energy in projects, hobbies, activities and adventures that take you out of your comfort zone and help you grow. Let’s say you join a photography group and, along the way, meet new people including men with similar interests. Your guy will probably feel a little jealous as a result, in the best possible way.
By all means, have male friendships and stay in contact with your exes. But only do so because you truly enjoy their company and they add to your life, not because you’re trying to make your guy jealous. He’ll naturally feel this anyway because he’ll see how amazing other guys think you are and feel lucky he’s the one who’s with you.
Keep your air of mystery, in terms of having your own life and doing things that don’t include him. Privacy is also a must, in terms of setting boundaries with him about going through your stuff or your phone and vice versa. Unlike deliberately ignoring him or pretending to have secrets to purposefully drive him crazy, he’ll feel constantly intrigued about you and a tad jealous of what you do without him.
When you invest in yourself like this, you won’t need to deliberately flirt so your guy sees that other men want you. Everyone gravitates to people who are confident, carefree and authentic. Everyone wants to be around people who embrace life to the full and pack their time with interesting pursuits.
The glow of a high-value woman leads men straight to her and keeps them wanting more. She knows she doesn’t need to try to be anything other than the awesome woman she is. Most importantly, she’s not wasting her time searching for how to make a guy jealous. She’s much more interested in questions that help her learn, grow and become evermore high value – for herself.