If it feels more like a business dinner than a date, and he doesn’t ask for a second date…
If you’re used to taking charge and making decisions and you forget to get his buy-in…
If you want to get closer to him but can sense his walls are up…
… Then it’s possible you’re experiencing an imbalance of masculine/feminine energies and the “Boss Lady Syndrome” is taking effect. Many successful professional women find that the dominant behaviors that serve them well in the workplace don’t translate well to the home or their love lives. Without realizing it, they are giving off energy that sometimes comes across as argumentative, competitive, or controlling.
“Boss Lady Syndrome” is an oft-overlooked aspect of why wonderful, successful women aren’t getting the connections they want with the men they want. Without energetic polarity, the masculine man you crave doesn’t feel attracted, invited, or magnetized into your world.
This was the case with Kathleen. She had taught Math and was the disciplinarian at a Catholic school. She was tough but fair when kids got in trouble. Her job required a lot of masculine energy from her.
She deeply wanted a relationship but felt lost. She confided about how a former partner had taken lots of money from her (putting her in a more traditionally masculine role). She hadn’t upheld her boundaries with him, and she tolerated a level of disrespect, which she’d be afraid to admit to her friends. She was both devastated and relieved when he left.
Feeling broken and confused, Kathleen said, “I’m out of options,” but in her Platinum Transformation Program, she did the inner work. And as the light bulb moments started coming on a weekly basis, her energy grew, and hope was renewed!
She then had a fun “tester” relationship that gave her an opportunity to apply what she’d learned and try how well she held to her values and channeled her feminine energy. Shortly after, she met Ross, and they’ve been in a committed, loving relationship for 2 years now. She candidly admitted, “He was not the one I was expecting!” But she adores him, has a blast with him, and sees her future with him.
Kathleen deserved to find love with Ross, and you deserve to find love too.
Here are Kathleen’s takeaways: men want to come home to a partner who is softer and more supportive than the people they work with. A man wants to enjoy a partner’s nurturing energy during his down time. Yes, even an “enlightened,” “evolved,” “modern,” or “sensitive” man craves this. (Neanderthal guys need not apply!)
You can be authentically yourself while creating the playful, nurturing, feminine energy a man’s spirit finds safety and reward in.
No one is saying dumb yourself down. No one is saying act needy or helpless. No one is saying you should say or do something that would take you out of integrity with yourself.
What we are saying is that all of your competence and capability in the work place aren’t always transferrable skills in the dating and relationship arena. What you and your girlfriends might describe as forthright, organized, and street-smart, to the man you are seeking (who has filters and beliefs that are unique to him), might be strident, micro-managing, and critical. Ouch!
Put simply, if he feels like he’s under scrutiny or being directed, he will not feel attracted and magnetized. If he doesn’t feel your magnificent feminine energy, he may never fully fall for you or trust you.
It’s hard to switch off the alpha personality. After all, many high-achieving women have worked hard for their credentials and their paychecks. It feels good to be recognized for your accomplishments in your professional life.
It takes awareness and consistency to move with agility between masculine and feminine energy zones. Just remember, how you “show up in the world” at 8:00 am is not how you want to “show up in the world” at 8:00 pm. Lead with your femininity.
A friend’s 5-year-old daughter was recently seen in a Facebook video chanting, “I’m a President AND a princess! I’m a princess who’s also a president.” Doesn’t that perfectly sum up modern femininity? Women can be both–soft and strong.
So, go ahead and break the glass ceiling at work. But slip on that glass slipper at home when you find the one who wants to treat you like a queen!
P.S. If you’re a woman who is ready to transform her relationships with men, you can enquire about the platinum program here.
